The matrix is inverted and my teddy bear is spying on me. Why am I covered in unicorn shit?… I was only browsing the web. No, I do not want another cookie. Why are you feeding me cookies? Is that my treadmill? Am I the milk of magnesia to your unicorn’s constipation? How can you hear me when I’m not saying anything? I can’t seem to look away. Hello, White Man on the Cloud! Why can He see me, but I can’t see Him? Who, exactly, is getting smarter about whom? And why is Oettinger’s donut so red?